Tomorrow is the big day! April 20th, 2023.
I'm calling it the "The Battle of Eviction" because tomorrow we kick out this freeloading squatter for good.
This is my body, and you are not welcome here. Pack your bags, and GET OUT!
I will be at the hospital at 6:15 am tomorrow. Surgery should last 2 to 3 hours and then I'll be in recovery for 3 to 5 days at the hospital before being discharged to continue healing at home.
So, how am I feeling?
A little nervous about forgetting to bring something and a little annoyed at having to wake up at 4:30 am. Gross!
But, about the surgery itself, I feel calm, confident and ready.
If you had asked me this question a week ago, I'd tell you that I was afraid that this surgery might get postponed because I wasn't "fit for surgery".
Story time! Grab some popcorn, I'll wait.
A trip to the ER
Over the last few weeks, ever since I became aware of the mass, my resting and walking heart have been on the rise.
Not hard to notice when your watch keeps buzzing, congratulating you with "Keep moving, you've almost reached your goa!l", while you're sitting on your couch, watching Netflix, and stuffing your face with chips lol! I guess my increased heart rate tricked my watch. Mission accomplished! I mean, who doesn't want to burn calories while sitting, right?
I also noticed that towards the end of every evening, I felt weak and dizzy, as if my blood pressure was dropping. And, on some occasions my body temperature would rise but never "officially" hit the fever threshold. From that point on, I decided to start tracking my heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature whenever I'd feel a little off.
It wasn't too bad until about last Thursday. My resting heart rate rose to around 120 bpm, and my walking heart rate would shoot up to 145 bpm from a light stroll. My body temperature was also slowly rising and I had a low grade fever. My blood pressure was fluctuating but remained quite low for my body. At one point, it hit something like 88/53 with a heart rate of 120 bpm!
Alarm bells started to ring in my head. Something is wrong.
I spoke to my family doctor, who urged me to monitor my vitals closely and go to the ER if the symptoms didn't improve. These vitals were not normal and could put my surgery at risk and force us to delay it. We absolutely did not want this to happen because who knows what other havoc this mass can cause the longer we wait.
I wasn't too keen on the idea of going to the ER, because well, who wants to wait 10 hours sitting in cold, metallic chairs from the 1970s? Not me! But, my body realized that I was, once again, not listening enough, so it added another red flag to the mix: A high fever of 39.2 C.
Ok! Ok! Message received! I'll go to the ER.
We got to the ER at around 8pm. I got my vitals checked and looked like a crazy person because my fever led my heart rate to increase to the point that my blood pressure went to "normal-ish" levels. But of course, it was not normal because it should have been even higher if my baseline BP had been normal prior to the fever! But, I'm not a health care professional, what do I know?
I was given 3 tylenols and told to sit in, what I call, "the untouchables' section," you know, it's that poorly seran wrapped section of the waiting room where all the fever-ridden folks sit and cough up a less-than-harmonic symphony!
So anyway, we ended up sitting in those cold, metallic chairs from the 1970s for about 4 hours, holding our breaths, and hoping not to catch anything.
At midnight, we decided to leave because I was feeling better and I had my pre-op check up the next morning, i.e. Friday at 9 am. Knowing that, the ER let us leave, especially since my vitals were indeed much better.
We got home around 1 am and went to sleep.
The Pre-Op Appointment
I did not sleep much that night. Once the Tylenol's effects faded, my temperature rose back up, so I took more and spent my night in a weird state of semi-alertness, making sure I was still breathing. It was a very strange night, not very restful at all.
On Friday morning, I showed up to the pre-op appointment, did the whole interview process and series of tests, which included blood tests and an EKG, and was cleared to go home because I didn't appear to be in bad enough shape for the hospital to conduct further tests.
After a few calls and a series of discussions we had with the pre-op nurse, the oncology nurse, and an onclogist, I was prescribed anticoagulants as a precaution, in case a blod clot was causing my heart to struggle to keep my blood pressure stable.
I already had a CT scan scheduled for that same night at 9:30 pm, so the oncologist simply added an angiogram to check my blood vessels too, and told me to go to the ER if nothing improved, or if my state worsened over the weekend.
My family doctor called to check in on me. I told her the whole story, she wasn't convinced and was a little upset that more tests weren't done. The blod clot wouldn't explain the fever, and she was worried I might have an infection that we were leaving untreated. She told me to keep monitoring my vitals and to go to the ER on Saturday if nothing improved.
Another trip to the ER
I woke up Saturday morning, feeling the same. Nothing had improved much. My fever was responding to Tylenol, but was still quite high once it would wear off.
And so, off we went to the ER but with a little more ammunition and wisdom this time. I had asked my family doctor to coach me on the exact words to say, so that I would be prioritized accordingly.
Let me tell you, words like risk to urgent surgery, tachycardia, hypotension, and urged by my oncologist to seek emergency care, have a lot of power!
It also helped that I already had my blood work, EKG, and CT Scan done on Friday at that same hospital.
It made it an accessible and interesting file to investigate with all of this data at hand. I mean, even I would jump on that project if I was the ER doctor! Sounds like a fun mystery or puzzle to solve, no? Plus, I'm such a nice and cool patient, who wouldn't want to pick up that super awesome file?
The ER doctor reviewed my results from Friday, which didn't show anything explaining the fever, so she ran a myriad of additional blood tests to check for aerobic and anaerobic bacteria, and also did a test to check for viruses. She also gave me Ringer's Lactate intravenously, which drastically improved my blood pressure and made me feel much better.
The impressive thing about ERs is that, although the wait times are long for the patient, the results to lab tests come out lightning fast. I now understood why my family doctor was pushing me to go to the ER.
Just two hours after taking my blood samples, I was called in to get my results. Get this...
I had nothing. Nada! Zilch! No bacterial infection of any kind!
So, what was this whole roller coaster ride about then!?!
The ER doctor thought it might be a mix of dehydration, which would explain the blood pressure and heart rate. And, the fever might be my body responding to the mass. As if the intruder's presence was detected by my nervous system, and had put my body in fight mode.
Wait a second...Does this mean that I, literally, activated my Warrior Mode!
I'm not sure exactly what triggered this awakening. Maybe it was all the self talk I've been doing or maybe it was the sound bath I went to with Sophie, a friend and a thriver, on Wednesday night. Who knows?
And you know what else is crazy? The next day, i.e. Sunday, after being told it was my body's response, everything stopped. The fever disappeared, and all my vitals came down to my previous levels.
I don't know exactly what happened, but it almost feels like hearing the doctor say those words "snapped" something back into place within my nervous system.
FYI, all in all, we waited about 12 hours sitting in those cold, metallic chairs from the 1970s that night, but it was worth every stiff and frigid second, considering how smoothly everything went overall.
All systems GO!
My oncologist was back from her well deserved vacation, and called me on Monday. She had been informed of everything by her colleague and checked all of my tests results, and gave me her official GO!
I was so relieved to hear that everything checked out and that I was considered fit for surgery.
As I am writing these words, I am sipping on the last few drops of my 1000 mL of clear fluids I am supposed to drink tonight, in preparation for tomorrow.
I'd like to end this post with a list of affirmations that I wrote down.
I believe and trust my oncology and surgery team's desire and ability to treat me.
I am confident that my surgery will be successful.
I am confident in my ability to heal, renew and repair my body after surgery.
My body will be able to recover smoothly after surgery.
I will wake up calm and relaxed after surgery.
I am confident in my ability to manage pain with the support of my oncology team.
I am strong.
I am resilient.
I am calm.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading!
I'll see you in a couple of days to show off my battle scars.
Stay tuned!
Alvina,
OC Warrion Queen
